Thank You Wal-Mart
Beautiful...
Just Beaut-i-ful...
It may be wrong to take pleasure in other people's downfall, but man this is just too good.
I was at the local Wal-Mart last night with my wife Lora, we were in the Maternity Wear section as she is with child. We're just minding our own business when some guy runs by us in the aisle, followed closely by a Wal-Mart security guard yelling, "Stop Him!! Stop Him!!" During or just after the second "Stop Him!!" the man running away tried to turn down another aisle. This, as anyone who has ever been chased knows, was not a good idea. The Wal-Mart security guard managed to catch up to the man, and form tackle him across the Saltine Cracker display. As if this situation was not funny enough in and of itself, an old friend of mine named Jamie who works at the Customer Service Desk (which was situated just in front of the Saltine Cracker Display) got on the intercom immediately after this happened and said, "I need someone in the Toy department to pick up a customer call on line 1." As if a man being tackled across a cracker display is not at all out of the ordinary. Beauty.
What makes this tale of other's woe so glorious though, is what the man was trying to steal...
The man, who was running as fast as could down the aisle to escape the security guards, the man who probably went to prison after being tackled across the Saltine Cracker Display, wasn't trying to steal a television or some other overpriced electronic gizmo, no. The man, running from the Wal-Mart Security, was trying to steal a package of Christmas Cards.
Man that's some good heresy. By Heresy of course I mean stupidity. You can read Rev. Wright's dissertation of why Stupidity is the new Heresy here. Anyway, This fella could have picked up the $2.88 that the package of cards he was trying to swipe out in the parking lot. I'd probably have given the guy 3 bucks for the cards if he had asked. I really love stupid people, I mean heretics. MMM...Heresy
Just Beaut-i-ful...
It may be wrong to take pleasure in other people's downfall, but man this is just too good.
I was at the local Wal-Mart last night with my wife Lora, we were in the Maternity Wear section as she is with child. We're just minding our own business when some guy runs by us in the aisle, followed closely by a Wal-Mart security guard yelling, "Stop Him!! Stop Him!!" During or just after the second "Stop Him!!" the man running away tried to turn down another aisle. This, as anyone who has ever been chased knows, was not a good idea. The Wal-Mart security guard managed to catch up to the man, and form tackle him across the Saltine Cracker display. As if this situation was not funny enough in and of itself, an old friend of mine named Jamie who works at the Customer Service Desk (which was situated just in front of the Saltine Cracker Display) got on the intercom immediately after this happened and said, "I need someone in the Toy department to pick up a customer call on line 1." As if a man being tackled across a cracker display is not at all out of the ordinary. Beauty.
What makes this tale of other's woe so glorious though, is what the man was trying to steal...
The man, who was running as fast as could down the aisle to escape the security guards, the man who probably went to prison after being tackled across the Saltine Cracker Display, wasn't trying to steal a television or some other overpriced electronic gizmo, no. The man, running from the Wal-Mart Security, was trying to steal a package of Christmas Cards.
Man that's some good heresy. By Heresy of course I mean stupidity. You can read Rev. Wright's dissertation of why Stupidity is the new Heresy here. Anyway, This fella could have picked up the $2.88 that the package of cards he was trying to swipe out in the parking lot. I'd probably have given the guy 3 bucks for the cards if he had asked. I really love stupid people, I mean heretics. MMM...Heresy
posted by Mooley at 11:33 AM
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